There is a secret issue just under the surface in the ministry lives of many children’s ministers. The issue is the feeling of a lack of respect from others about what we do. We work with children and are separated from the main service. It’s easy for us to feel removed, forgotten, taken for granted and disrespected.

We can feel disrespected by our leaders and fellow pastoral staff as we sit through staff meetings listening to conversations about a service we weren’t a part of. We can feel disrespected by other ministries when our equipment is thrown aside when our room is used for other purposes. We can feel disrespected by parents when they want to side-step check-out procedures and pick-up their child how and out whichever door they want. Even our own volunteers can unintentionally make us feel disrespected when they are consistently late or call in sick at 9:30pm Saturday night.

Though as a whole the Church has come a long way in realizing the validity of ministry to children and families, she still has a long way to go. And who cares about the Church as a whole if your church happens to be functioning a few years behind the curve. There are still plenty of churches and plenty of pastors that do take children’s ministry for granted. It’s a reality for many of us. My point? All of your feelings about being disrespected may be right!

As a minister you should be respected… at minimum you should not be disrespected. But there is a hard truth: If you’re not a part of the “big-show” on Sunday morning, what you do will generally not be regarded as equal or as important. Even in the perfect and ideal church, this will always to some extent be the case.

So what now? Do we quit? Do we try not to care? Do we buckle down and claim that we’re doing it for the Lord and the kids anyhow? Do we convince ourselves that it’s prideful to want equal treatment and attention after all? Or do we start to get bitter and demanding? Spiteful of our peers and leaders? Neither direction is beneficial or acceptable.

This article is the first in a short series so I’m not going to try to address and answer everything at once. My goal with this first post is to validate your feelings. To let you know that others out there have felt it… and how some of us are dealing with it. But I will say this…

We’re a support ministry… not the main ministry.

I like what I’ve heard Jim Wideman say. He says he doesn’t see the title “Children’s Pastor” in the bible… so he figures it falls under the “Pastor” category. He’s saying that without the head Pastor there is no Children’s Pastor or children’s ministry. Without the “big-show” there is no “little-show”. We are there to serve and support our Pastor and the parents of our churches… even if they never know how much we do for them. Secondly…

Respect is earned.

Respect isn’t given, it’s earned. Sometimes we children’s ministers forget that. We think that we’re owed special treatment because of the things we endure. The reality is that we do a job that very few do understand. Most folks are scared to death of children (though I’ve never understood that) or think of them as dirty, bratty, needy ragamuffins (I do understand this one). To many our job falls somewhere between the folks who hand out bulletins and the folks who clean the toilets. So it falls on us to earn the respect that we do indeed deserve. Not because we’re prideful but because respect in ministry results in ministry that’s easier to do, and easier to attract others to do with you. One more…

Not everyone shares your vision, nor should they.

Just accept it. No one on the earth is going to have the same passion or vision for the ministry God has given you like you do. Not even your own pastor. Example: Do you have a vision for my ministry? No? Well I don’t really have one for yours either. Same goes for the choir at your church. They don’t really have a vision for your kids. Even your parents… they have a vision but it’s for one or two kids (theirs) not the whole group of them. Everyone has their own calling and passion and you have yours. Don’t be bitter about it, relish it. It’s yours. God gave it to you.

Next post we’ll talk about how to go about being a ministry (and minister) who earns proper respect. In the mean time I would love to get your feedback! If any of this has rung true, let me know in the comments. Even if it’s just a simple, “Amen!”

What’s the main difference between regular cereal and generic. The packaging. I know kids say they can tell the difference… just like we adults swear we can taste the difference between tap water and bottled water… but in reality it’s the way the cereal is packaged that makes it more exciting.

I believe packaging is important in children’s ministry as well… especially to those of us who don’t have a lot of money and resources. We can’t all print every flier in full color and our check-in stations may never look like a children’s museum lobby, but there are several things we can all do to improve the packaging of our children’s ministry. Doing so will excite the children, volunteers and the parents we serve.

1. Laminate Signs

For some reason when I laminate a piece of paper, people pay more attention to it than when I just print and stick.

2. Pre-Printed Paper for Fliers

Even if you can’t print in color, you can buy paper with pre-printed backgrounds… or even better use a high-volume, low-cost print shop and have a whole mess of custom printed paper to make fliers and handouts on.

3. A Great Logo

It may cost a little money, but getting a great quality logo is a great way to package your ministry. I happen to do low-cost, high-quality logos over at DrawYouAPicture.com. Most of the time ministry logos only cost $65 and I’ve yet to charge more than $99 for a single logo.

4. Dress Up For Church

I know most of we children’s ministers don’t like church clothes but dressing ourselves up is probably the easiest way to dress up our own ministry. People outside of kids church never see your ministry… but they do see you.

5. Keep Classroom Decorations Fresh

Every church classroom I’ve ever seen has had old stuff on the walls. It’s been up so long that no one even sees it anymore. Same with bulletin boards. It costs little to nothing to keep these things current. You just throw out the old stuff and put up the new. And when you do put it up, put it up straight, centered, and without visible tape or staples. Thumbtacks still look good, but double sided tape looks even better!

6. Clean Storage Areas

Your pastor hates your storage room. It bothers him. It bothers you… but you’re used to it. It would bother your parents if they saw it. Clean it up… or at least get it organized. Same with classroom cabinets, drawers and countertops. Old curriculum, handouts, copies, old cookies… they all need to be given away or thrown away.

7. Clear Copies

This is a pet peeve so bear with me here. I hate it when I can see page numbers, curriculum titles, and copied hole punch holes on handouts. I want my copies to look first generation. A little whiteout goes a long way in improving the look of your copies. You can even keep a strip of paper on hand to place over the holes on punched originals. And for the love of all that is holy, make sure your copies are square to the paper.

Packaging isn’t the most important part of children’s ministry… but it is an important part. When you take pride in the little things the side-effect is that others will respect what you do more. Plus God seems to bless folks who are faithful in the little things.

You often see articles on how to avoid burnout in ministry… but what about when it sneaks up on you? How can you get out of the hole of despair your in? Below I’ve listed some things that help me when the well doing makes me weary.

5. Time Away – but not necessarily

Taking time off if you haven’t had a break can be a great way to recharge… but not always. Sometimes taking a break can be like running away. If you don’t do things to recharge in your time away, you’ll end up coming back right into the same situations as ill prepared as you were before.

4. Act Your Way Into Feelings

I’m not talking about faking a good mood… though we’ve all been there. That would be an attempt to feeling your way into actions… which is killer. Acting your way into feelings means that you get up, get out there and keep on trucking. If you can’t do everything you’re supposed to do, do what you can do. Give God room to move in your ministry life by continuing to do as much of it as you can. The rest of the steps depend on this.

3. Change Things Up

Most of the time we’re not burned out on ministry as a whole… we’re just burned out on parts of it. It may be time for a change in those areas. I’m a fan of giving away parts of the ministry that grind my nerves away to those who are especially gifted at it. Even if you don’t delegate everything… doing it differently can be just the thing to renew your interest and passion.

2. Ask For Help

We get burned out when we try to do more than we can handle. Sure, there are things God has called us to do that may be beyond us and all… but His yoke is easy and all that. I’m talking about when we take on to much and try to do it all ourselves. It’s time to delegate. Don’t know how? Try asking yourself, “Who would take my place if I were sick this Sunday?” and go from there. You don’t have to give everything away… just the parts that anyone else can do.

1. Pray Through

As a child I would hear people talk about ‘praying through’. I didn’t understand it then… but I sure do now. Praying through, for me anyway, is praying until my attitude changes. Literally bugging God until He helps me through. Typically for me it means Him humbling me and realizing it was some sort of independent pride that got me where I was in the first place. Along with seeking energy, attitude adjustments and such, you might also ask for creativity… or if you’re season has changed. God loves you more than the ministry you provide. He knows that you minister out of your overflow… and He will fill you if you wait on Him.

We’re back! James tackles the topic of discouragement, and it’s sources, solo this month. Get ready for our new co-host, Lead Pastor Jon Beckett next month!

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